Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
