i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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