my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
