sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
high people should be assigned attendants
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
