Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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