I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize