When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
