One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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