I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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