I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
