Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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