I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
