I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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