You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
