I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
