never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
