my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
