It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
