just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
