Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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