how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
