you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
