she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
