I heard we made out
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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