Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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