i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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