Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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