matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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