You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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