He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
