I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Randomize
