I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
