Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I think people are normalizing furries
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
