Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
