But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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