help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
