there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm getting married
To pizza
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
