This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
