Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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