That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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