You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i believe in u and ur pee
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
