wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize