Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

She'll never know what hit her

(1-703): View more from Virginia

I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?

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(760): View more from California

i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped

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(973): View more from New Jersey

she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.

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(917): View more from New York City

and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl

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(647): View more from Ontario

I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.

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(587): View more from Alberta

I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!

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