there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
