He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I enjoy the company of your penis
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
