gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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