If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I understand Curling. That high.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
