the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
