What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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