if you like me you must not know who I am
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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