so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She needs sedatives and a leash
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
