Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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