I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
