i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
