So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
