In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
