Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
its liver damage thursday
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
