oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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